A Little Relationship Advice

For those students who seem to be following a path toward a fall through the educational cracks, the most crucial needs are relationships.

We hear it time and time again, whether it be the young administrator who this summer Twittered, “Rules without relationships equal rebellion,” or Pat Ladd, who after four decades as a teacher is now serving the Martindale-Brightwood neighborhood associations, telling folks at last weekend’s Education Summit that you can never underestimate the power of the relationship between a teacher and the parents of her students.

When the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation ventured into Early College High Schools, it discovered that the guiding principles of that form of education were the three R’s — relevance, relationship and rigor.

So it comes as little surprise that Matthew Tully of the Indianapolis Star discovered the value of student relationships with adults in schools during his multi-part series on Manual High School, a struggling city school. Tully witnessed the students’ interaction with Sgt. John Barrow, the chief of the school’s police unit.

He wrote:

Barrow is in a constant conversation with Manual’s students. It comes naturally to a guy with a personality as big as the three-story school and a deep concern for the students he oversees. But there’s also a strategy at work.

“This job is not just about busting and cuffing,” Barrow has said repeatedly in the past few months. “It’s about relationships. Anything you can do to build a relationship with these kids helps. You have to take time to talk with them and have the patience to listen to them.”

As he walks the halls, some students just say hello. Others tell the Army veteran about their grades, their problems or the older siblings Barrow knew back when. Some alert him to potential fights or other time bombs at the school.

When students aren’t approaching Barrow, he has trouble letting one of them pass without saying something. Sometimes it’s a word of encouragement. Other times, it’s a lecture on something he’s heard about the student. Often, it’s a joke. He knows that every relationship built and every ounce of trust earned could at some point help the school and the students.